You've been dating a great guy that you met online. You two get along very well and you really enjoy his company. He's smart, handsome and you two have many things in common. But something seems a little off about him. He was vague about his past; perhaps he didn't want to bring up his ex-girlfriends or talk about tough times. Doing so might have soured the mood. Or perhaps he is being secretive about his past for other reasons.
Wouldn't it be nice if people warned you of their pasts? During the first few dates everyone is trying to make a good impression, especially if the attraction and chemistry are there. While this is a perfect time to discuss whether or not someone is already married and has any children, it's usually more difficult to talk about prior arrests and the shadier activities one has been caught doing.
Most women are blessed with a keen sense of intuition. As a group, they can sense when something doesn't seem right. Many conversations over brunch have revealed fatal flaws in potential boyfriends. Trusting your gut instinct should always be a rule of thumb, but sometimes you want more validation.
It's time to check your date out online. As stalker-like as it seems, more and more singles are checking out their partners online, especially when the relationship is at the point of becoming more intimate and personal. Although background checks do not mean you are 100% safe (only the convicted are listed), the peace of mind will be in place. You don't have to be particularly computer-savvy to get a background check of anyone on the Internet. Having the prior knowledge that your date is married or is convicted criminal would allow you to make informed decisions. Inclusion in sex offender registries is a deal-breaker for most.
You can start your investigative work by performing a Google search on the guy. It is a general, broad search. You might find he's won awards, written articles, or excelled in sports. Typically, Google searches are so far-reaching that you may find more about a man with the same name in other countries than your own. If you come up empty-handed during the Google search, it's time to move on to more advanced methods of searching.
The National Sex Offender Registry is maintained by the Department of Justice, and anyone convicted of a sex-related crime toward children or adults is required to register or face criminal prosecution. Also, the offenders listed are required by law to keep their address current. This free, searchable database will let you know if the person in question has a conviction they may not be ready to talk about with you.
The National Sex Offender Registry searches the entire United States, and while you can specify the person's name, county, city, and zip code(s), it seems to perform the best searches by entering the person's name and selecting the state. Of course, the county and city may be different than the person's current residence. While you're there, you can also view any Amber Alerts in your area.
Should you want to investigate the guy any further (most women are content to stop at this point), U.S. Search will provide you with just about any information you need. U.S. Search is the most popular and most reliable Internet background checker. Here, you can get the man's criminal background info, which may not have been revealed on the National Sex Offender Registry if his convictions were unrelated to sexual activity. You can also get his roommates' names to see if he has a spouse he's not yet mentioned.
At U.S. Search, you can also get the guy's previous ten addresses and telephone numbers; his relatives and neighbors; filed bankruptcies, any tax liens, and small claims court judgments; and information regarding home ownership – along with the value of the home. If he owns a business, you can access background information about his business. There are many reports available for purchase and online download at U.S. Search. Basically, this is your one-stop shopping for anything you would want to know about this guy.
It is actually frightening how much information about everyone is available on the Internet. You may find it interesting to order your own background reports at U.S. Search, which is an option. For a small fee, you can find out what your date and others can see about you.
In this day and age of Internet technology, there is much more public information available for anyone with a computer. The guy that you're dating and becoming fond of can no longer hold out on providing you with his background information. Before you take the next step in the relationship – whether that is a fourth date or something more personal – make sure you know what is really going on. It could prevent you from danger and heartache in the future.