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First Date Deal Breakers - Online Dating Article

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For a lot of people there is a point at the end of a bad relationship where they look back and think, "If only I had gone with my gut feeling on the first date!" Often singles brush off one annoying thing or another during the first date, feeling that for some reason they have to give the virtual stranger the benefit of a doubt. In many cases, this is fine, but there are certain dating signs to look for on a first date that could be throwing up a red flag (or waving it at you franticly!). We all have a few of our own personal deal breakers, but here a few that everyone should be looking to avoid.

Deal Breaker #1: Rudeness

Always pay attention to how your date treats the people around you. Do they bark orders at waiters and taxi drivers? Rudeness is a sure sign that this person has trouble interacting socially. Signs of anger, a strong temper, overuse of crude language, and racial or sexist comments are bad signals. This person might manage to send a little respect your way since this is your first date, but it's quite possible that within a few weeks you could be on the receiving end of their blatantly unpleasant behavior.

Deal Breaker #2: Too Much Talk About Past Relationships

This is unnecessary on a first date. At this point, you just want to get to know the basics about your date, not a complete emotional history. Someone who is fixated on talking about their past relationships, especially bad ones, may have too much emotional baggage to start a healthy relationship right now. Especially watch out for excessive complaining about exes, which may signal that this person doesn't know how to accept his or her part in keeping up a relationship.

Deal Breaker #3: Hygiene Issues

This dating pitfall can swing both ways. If it's clear your date hasn't showered or shaved in days and smells like a dirty hamper, you might as well head for the door. Your date might also be on the opposite end of the spectrum, cleaning and inspecting every surface before touching it, talking obsessively about hygiene, and maybe even asking you personal hygiene questions. Both of these issues display a lack of respect for you, and speak a lot for their future behavior.

Deal Breaker #4: Public Drunkenness

Most of us enjoy having a few drinks now and then, but the first date is not the time to get drunk. The fact that someone is willing to become inebriated on the first date says a lot about their ability to be considerate and responsible. A second date should be avoided.

Deal Breaker #5: Habitual Lying

Do not underestimate a lie. Even a small lie on a first date can signal a flood of dishonesty right underneath the surface. You do not want to start a relationship based on lies of any kind. If you notice your date lying, you should run, not walk, for the door.

Deal Breaker #6: Trouble With the Long Term

Does your date have a problem with staying in a relationship for more than a month or two? If this is a consistent problem with your date, consider if you want to be their ex within a few weeks before you agree to a second date.

Deal Breaker #7: Money Issues

So, at the end of the evening, your date whips out a calculator and divides the check up down to the penny and then asks you to pay your half. This is not a good sign. Neither is excessive conversation about finances. Signs of extreme debt or bankruptcy might also be a warning for financial troubles later on in a relationship. A first date should not be about trying to meet the bottom line.

Deal Breaker #8: Animal Obsession

Many of us are animal lovers, but you can love a good thing too much. If your date carries around dozens of pictures of Fluffy, talks about Fido more than any other topic, or has more pets than the number of years they've been alive, you might want to question continuing your relationship with this person.


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