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The Date Race - Online Dating Article

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After the breakup of a relationship people tend to engage in a date race to see who will be the first to find a new dating partner. This practice is neither practical nor healthy and may lead to rebound relationships. Often people will become involved with someone that they're not particularly interested in as a means to get back at their ex.

We've all seen examples of the date race game. He goes out with the sexiest girl he can find and his ex hooks us with a handsome guy that has a better job or more money. This type of reactive and emotional behavior only serves to indicate that one still cares about the person from the previous relationship. It seems the only logical reason as to why they would go to so much trouble. If the two people truly do still care about each other and want to be together then they should honestly state their feelings to each other and try to work out whatever problems caused their breakup in the first place. If they can't do that on their own then they should seek professional assistance in the form of counseling.

If on the other hand, they don't know what or who they want then becoming involved with someone on a purely superficial basis for the sake of trying to make an ex partner jealous certainly isn't going to solve the problem since it lies within the individual. This is just a clearly emotional and immature reaction. Not to mention the fact that such behavior is unfair to the unsuspecting person in the third party position who probably doesn't even realize that he or she is being moved about as a pawn in a romantic and manipulative game of date chess.

Sometimes such transparent motivations do backfire leaving the person who started the game out in the cold without the ex partner nor the present one. Such manipulative behavior usually does backfire and the repercussions can have long lasting effects that turn out to more than what one bargained for.

Instead of playing a series of date games in an attempt to pay back ex partners for failed relationships try to focus on a positive aspect of the breakup. Maybe the two of you just weren't meant to be. Everything happens for a reason. The breakup of a relationship could be the opening of a door to something better for both of you. People come in and out of our lives all the time, for reasons we don't always understand. Perhaps there was a lesson that you were meant to learn or one that you were meant to teach. Perhaps two people were brought together to bring a child into the world. We don't always know why things happen the way they do but we can rest assured that they happen for a reason.

So if you've had a breakup, see it in a positive light and move forward optimistically. Learn to let go gracefully. Enjoy your newfound freedom. Don't jump into the first relationship that comes along. Take your time and find the right person for you. The date race can seem like fun but the first to cross the finish line isn't always the winner.


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