Losing someone you love through death, divorce or break up is one of the most gut wrenching things we face in life. It alters our outlook, our social status and especially our routine. With our special someone, we have a set routine, the things we do naturally and comfortably. Losing someone causes our whole world to change. But there are some positives that come from that change. Here are a few tips to help you refocus your life:
- Choose Joy. Every morning wake up realizing that you are in control of your day. You can allow yourself to drift through the memories and sorrow of your great loss, or you can allow yourself to embrace the day. Looking for the little things that make you smile, and allowing yourself to do just that: Smile. Without guilt, without sadness.
- Change Your Routine. Don't go to all the same spots and do all the same things you did with your partner. Change it up. Try something new. Break out of the routine and eliminate some of the memories of what used to be. Decide to create some new memories.
- Make A List. Write down 5 things you have always wanted to do, but never had the time or motivation to do. Always wanted to sky dive? Learn to play the piano? Run in a triathlon? Now is the time! Use your excess time and energy to accomplish a goal. You will meet new people and expand your horizon. You will have a new and exciting project to put your attention on. Something you will be proud of.
- Keep A Journal. Although this may be a not so easy thing to do, you will be amazed at the release you feel when you put your thoughts and feelings on paper. Be open and honest, knowing that no one will read your deepest thoughts (unless you let them). There is freedom in laying out the bare truth of where you are. From there you have the release to learn from your own raw honesty. Not only does it help now, but down the road as healing takes place, you can look back and see how far you've come. You will be encouraged by your own growth as a person as you look back.
- Don't Hide. Your friends and family know that you have experienced a tremendous loss. Don't succumb to the temptation to hide out and avoid people. It is a natural reaction when we are hurting to isolate ourselves. But this is the worst thing you can do. You can't stop living! Put yourself out there and let people help you through.
What you need to remember is that you are in control of your outlook. No one else can give you a good or bad attitude about where you are. Only you. This puts you in control of your life! You can't change what has already happened, but you can determine what happens from here. Most people feel a sense of loss of control when they loose someone. You have to remind yourself daily that you can control how you will spend your days from here forward. Loss is part of life. How we handle that loss will determine the quality of our life thereafter. Choose to grow. Choose to embrace the adventures that lie ahead. You will emerge a stronger, better person. Someone you can be proud of.