Dates can be a great time to get to know someone, but at the same time they can be nerve-wracking. Going to the movies is the perfect date because you get to spend time with your new dating partner and yet you don't have to talk a lot. The movie gives you a topic of conversation for later in the date. But what if you go out to coffee, to dinner, or to a sporting event?
We aren't all great conversationalists. Lulls in the chat are usually awkward. You want to get to know your date and create some chemistry, but what do you talk about? You don't want to only talk about yourself, and yet you don't want to seem like you're prying. It is sometimes difficult to find things to talk about.
Really, the best way to get to know someone is to ask questions. Asking carefully planned questions is great because you get to hear the answer and watch how your dating companion reacts. Is he or she comfortable talking about their past? Is your date shy? You can learn a lot just by asking questions.
You should make your questions general, yet at the same time, personalize them to your date. For example, if your date has expressed an interest in cooking, ask what their favorite recipe is. By asking a question tailored like this, you're getting information out of your date and expressing interest at the same time.
Be Prepared to Answer Their Questions
You should expect to answer lots of questions on your date, especially if you've just started dating. When the person is asking the question, consider the best possible response that will let them know more about you. Answer their questions honestly, as this is the time when you two are getting to know each other.
Some questions are better left unmentioned, and yes – there are some "inquisitive" singles who will ask them. If your date asks you a question you aren't comfortable answering or you feel is inappropriate, politely decline to answer. It is okay not to reveal too much, and you can regain control of the conversation.
Talk About What You See
If the conversation starts to lag, look around you. Find a topic around you. Something in the restaurant or coffee shop could trigger a memory for you. For example, if you love pets and you see a dog outside waiting for its owner, talk about it. You may be surprised to find your dating friend shares common likes and interests with you. If he or she doesn't like dogs, then at least you know that much.
Current Events – Yes or No?
Talking about current events can be tricky. You'll need to focus on the positive current events, which can be difficult. There are so many news stories that are negative. Politics, natural disasters, and murders should be avoided, at least until the two of you become closer. You could talk about local events, community stories about heroes, or even organizations you're involved in. If the two are you are sports fans, you could chat about the local team. At the very least, try to put an optimistic spin on your topic.
Remember, first dating impressions are essential for either follow up dates or perhaps a date with one of his or her friends if things don't work out. So, do your best to keep the conversation on a smooth and easy flow. To help you get started, simply follow through on the above 4 simple dating guidelines.